Of Cheese, Mice, and Baby-Knitting

“Everything can be faked.”

That is the only line I remember from one of the few non-text books I read in past few years. In fact, I would have forgotten that book in coming months had I not remembered it today.

It was a huge loss-of-time watching some rubbish hindi movie ‘Dhoondtey Reh Jaoge’ and I was wondering why I still do watch Hindi movies. How do they manage to make such movies? And coincidentially, the movie’s story revolves around some people trying their best to make a flop movie that eventually comes out a ‘hit’. So if something was not possible in the movie, how come they made it possible in real?

For a change, I thought of reading some book. This was definitely a strange decission and my house and other items in the house were not prepared for this sudden decission of mine. They did not have any such thing among them which I could read. Desperate, I turned to my favourite underground websites and decided to have a look at the ebooks available there. Everything was there. Every single book whose pirated versions I had seen with the foot-path seller. But some dissatisfaction was driving me browse through the next pages of the ebook listings.

The Cheese-Mover

The Cheese-Mover

Still I could not decide what to read. There were books on everything. From knitting to kissing; ‘How to cheat your girlfriend’ to ‘Why Google is acquiring nuclear weapons’. And the listings were flooded with self-help books. Oh, now, I remember, I started this topic to talk on that. Just spare me few more lines. I will come to that.

So while searching, and serching, I started downloading a book ‘Illustrated Kids Knitting’. I had seen my mom and sis knitting some woolen stuff. But I could never understand how a beautiful sweater comes out while two metallic pins are busy fighting a chinese sword-fight. So this book can help.

Anyways, back to cheese. And faking everything.

I am not talking of faking something to be made of cheese. Even though that is done in a special sweet item called ‘Chhenaapoda’ (Chhena->Cheese, poda->burnt) that’s a speciality of Orissa, a state on the eastern coast of India. While that sweet is exported by OMFED with a cheese:non-cheese composition of 90:10, the local hotels sell the sweet with the composition degraded to 40:60. And the degraded item tasted great.

I kind of liked the guy who wrote ‘everything can be faked’. There were more than 2000 books in the library I was incharge of. May be his name or the aroma of his book made it to the 0.1% of the books I read from the library. However, for all the other books, I remember the cover picture, the author and the page number where we had put an extra stamp for better security. But they could never convince me of reading them!

I forgot the exact lines from the book. But it essentially said us to stay lazy if we are. There is nothing wrong in you for which you need to read a self-help book and need to change yourself. On every alternate paragraph, the author reminded how he had successfully managed to sell us a copy even though the book contained nothing.

In fact, the book contained nothing. A total of 10-20 pages max. But it made me hate all self-help books. I was already hating those. But this book convinced me I was right. I don’t care if somebody’s cheese got stolen by mice. Mice want cheese. Let them have it. Don’t you have any other work than following rubbish books which say you are all wrong and need to change yourself? I would rather look into the baby knitting.


5 Responses to “Of Cheese, Mice, and Baby-Knitting”

  • Magie Says:

    I don’t care if somebody’s cheese got stolen by mice. Mice want cheese. Let them have it. Don’t you have any other work than following rubbish books which say you are all wrong and need to change yourself? I would rather look into the baby knitting.

    I liked this the most.. Nice article

  • Magie Says:

    ‘Chhenaapoda’ (Chhena->Cheese, poda->burnt) yammy!!! I think I had this………

  • Phool Says:

    Now, get me some of these Chennapodas pls..the fish-fry is long pending to b delivered though..

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