Tomb Raiders

When we passed by the road that lead to the tombs, the other guy always said, “There is nothing to see there. No one goes there.” until the day when I needed some pics for experiment. And the experiment demanded the place be a quiet one. No better place than the very Qutub Shahi Tombs, few minutes walk form where I stayed in Hyderabad, India.

We had to shell out significant amount for the entry (even though we managed to hide the cameras, that would have doubled the entry fee) and it seemed like we were the only few who pay and enter. There were groups of local youngsters playing some sort of cricket. And few couple-looking pairs here and there behind trees and pillars. We were in doubt if the kids pay entry fee to play inside. And the number of beggars were more than that of visitors. May be they had some kind of monthly entry pass.

I fast unrolled my business. Clicked some 200-300 photos here and there with the tiny digicam I had. The other guy was impatient for he didn’t find anything of his interest there so far. And the day seemed tiring. We decided to get some roasted corn instead.

Went and asked the seller, “How much for a corn?” and she (a kid) said “10 bucks”. What to bargain with a small kid? I paid for two and the kid signalled the actual seller (could be her dad, or uncle).

Few minutes later, we were sitting under a tree and enjoying the corn while we heard another man bargaining for the corns. He was saying “Yesterday I got 3 for 10 …” and finally the kid said, “OK, take 2 for 10.”

Oh yeah, inside, the kids were playing the cricketish thing and suddenly one of them came out and started begging, “Bhaiya…” (i.e. “Hey bro, donate here a buck, pls!”). I got rid of him with a single word but later found him tormenting my friend with his brotherly dialogues. Why (the hell) people do sweet discussions with beggars (-in-the-making)? So I scolded the kid as he was blocking the view of my camera.

And here we go, with the experiment results:

FULL SCREEN VIEW

That night, in sleep, I was dreaming of becoming a successful beggar and teaching the whole lot of things to create a professional beggar community in India. Wherever you go in this small locality, you will face beggars, most of them covering their face. And I never feel like giving them a coin. They need to be professional, man!

No I can’t wait to write my book. Something like, “Become a beggar in 21 days”, (too much, let’s make it 24 hrs), or “Begging made easy” etc. I even saw my book’s cover in the dream. Thank God I always keep my digicam besides me while sleeping. So here is a snapshot:

Begging For Dummies

Hey Dummies...

 

Bookname: Begging in India for Dummies
ISBN: 438-5-67-823442-7
Buy on Amazon

The book will contain anything and everything in the begging business. It will have the potential to bring a breakthrough in the beggar industry. See some of the excerpts from the book that was in press at the time of dream.

Begging Myth #1 : Beggars get tax-free money.

Reality: As a beggar you need to pay tax to the local agents who allot you area for the business. The agent in turn pays the tax to big-agent, to bigger-agent, and finally the money goes to some terrorist organization in some country. And when the money goes into the org’s bank account, it attracts tax.”

Some testimonials:

“I always was fascinated by the beggars with covered face. Only after reading your guide, I feel confident that I too can do it. When I do not have change for the auto-ricksaw, I can now easily cover my face and beg for a coin! Thank you a lot DRK. You made my day.” –From PS, phoenix, USA

“I only paid to beggars who look old. Now I know the secret of authentic begging while looking young and sexy.” –From RB, Hyderabad, India

As my gratitude to you for reading till this pont, I am offering you 50% discount on pre-order. The coupon code is “beggar238“.


3 Responses to “Tomb Raiders”

  • cocki Says:

    Hey drk, this post was a real gud one.

  • D Says:

    It was Saajan Chale Sasural on TV last week. I paused on the channel as there was some wall I saw somewhere. It was finally the qutubshahi tombs!! See the 360 degree view on full screen. Govinda was climbing the metal ladder so save the queens. I mean heroines. (sorry… British national anthem barged in!)

  • D Says:

    well, that ISBN stands for GETLOSTBEGGAR

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